Hi everyone

So I know I have been writing my posts about all the good things that have been happening on this mission trip but I thought I’d give y’all an insight on the struggles that I have been experiencing as well.

Being away from my family has proven to be very difficult for me. Time at training camp was definitely the lowest I’ve felt emotionally in a long time. I would often find myself crying when no one was around and my spirit was really broken. I even completely broke down while I was in a porta potty. Not my finest moment, yes I know. I was really longing to just give my family and my boyfriend a massive hug, and knowing that I wouldn’t be seeing them for a long time really took a toll on me. Our phone time was very limited. We only had our phones in the mornings and at night so not being in constant contact with anyone was really hard.

But during these difficult times and these struggles, God allowed me to grow. He allowed me to grow in Him and with Him. He showed me that He’s the only thing that I can hold onto. When I have no one else I still have Him. And he’s more than enough for me. He will never fail me. Even though I miss my family so much I know I’m not alone. I know that God is always with me. I was also feeling really guilty about missing my family. Feeling like I wasn’t enough and that I should be ashamed by missing my family. But while I was struggling with these thoughts my leader she told me that God doesn’t want me to feel ashamed for missing my family. That shame isn’t from the Lord and that we don’t serve a god of shame. The idea of shame is from the enemy. She helped me and worked with me during this hard time. I now am actually glad I miss my family because that means that I love them so much. I’m happy to have a family that I miss. God has truly blessed me with an incredible family.

Not having the time to scroll on social media has has truly impacted my mental health for the better. I really struggle with my self esteem and have trouble finding confidence in myself a lot. However, while being here I really haven’t felt like I have been comparing myself to others. I haven’t complained about my body or my appearance at all. So instead of being filled with mindless scrolling I’m being filled with Gods word and His love every single day. This has truly helped me mentally and spiritually. I feel like a little girl again, not caring about how I look and loving my body for how God made me. No matter what I look like I’m God’s masterpiece and He loves me no matter what.

So yeah even though I’ve been struggling with being stripped away from everyone and everything I know, I know that this will have an eternal impact in Gods kingdom.